Tuesday 5-27-14

Tuesday 5-27-14

                Much and more has happened since the last entry. It was a rough night last night. We had some news that my brother in law and my own brother are both having some pretty bad issues. Mamaliz is needed and is going to Hawaii to try to help Louie through some personal issues. So I was faced with the idea of doing the next month without her. I will be here in Africa with the kids. And she will not be back again most likely until after we are gone. The idea of this scared me because of my anxiety. I don’t like being on my own, I get something similar to cabin fever when I am unable to speak to another adult. I have plenty kids here to talk with, but very often no adult seeing that there are only a few that speak English here. I decided that because I wanted to go home so badly for missing Asa and my dog, I needed to stay. With Mamaliz leaving, I know that if I did figure out a way to go home at the same time, there would be no way I would ever forgive myself for abandoning these kids during a time they needed me to teach them most. And lastly, I am always telling my own children how important it is to follow something through even when they get scared or overwhelmed from not knowing. I cannot tell them that and when I am faced with a situation that scares me and not thinking I can do it turn my tail and run. So there that is. I will, for the next month be the head teacher of St. Mary’s School in Berega. I never saw that happening in my life, but this will be a great opportunity for me to see how I do. I would love to replicate what they have accomplished with this school in South America. I can really see us doing something like that.

                We went to school and did all of our stuff there as usual. Mamaliz said her goodbyes and explained to the kids that her son was sick and she needed to go back to America to help and be by his side. In std.3 I had the kids write goodbye letters in their journal and many of them decided to write letters to Louie also and told him how they would be praying to god for him to get better. It was very sweet. A few even brought up maybe bringing him and Teacher Asa back with her when she comes back because they would love to meet Louie and have him teach them, and they miss Teacher Asa so much.

                We got home and Mamaliz went into some packing while I went over the exams for all three classes a little and chatted with Asa since our internet was working. We had some visitors often for coffee or tea through the day so they could say goodbye to Mamaliz. I began working on dinner which I decided would be spaghetti marinara since I had a crazy amount of tomatoes. Right after I finished cooking the noodles, I noticed that the kids were all up front having a little dance party. Hannah and Dr. Chris had put their music on a loud speaker and the kids were having a blast. I quickly drained my noodles and went outside with my small camcorder and a camera to get some on film. We had Ayla and Jove, the few adults, our school kids, and even some village kids. The village kids were a little confused and a few of our school kids were shy at first, but as it got darker the moves started coming out. I had so much fun watching them and dancing with them occasionally. I really needed it. I went back inside to finish getting dinner situated and realized that since I didn’t stir the noodles around at all as they dried a little, they became a massive soggy lump of nasty. So I had to make new, but that just means that some lucky dog gets fed tonight. Hamna Shida!

                I got dinner finished up and we decided it had been dark for twenty minutes so the dance party needed to end otherwise we would get eaten alive by mosquitoes. Dinner was very good. I got the kids fed, then Mamaliz gave them a few Oreos that Teacher Logan was nice enough to bring her from California. Then Teacher Logan even cut them up some mango. They were just so pleased. Bath time, brush teeth, story then in to bed with them, and only an hour later than normal. Lucky little buggers got to stay up until 9:00. That never happens.

                Mamaliz still had some visitors after the kids went to bed, so I waited and semi visited, but once they left, I had Mamaliz help me write up the areas that need to be on the Std.3 midterm exams since I will be administering those next month. We got that all figured out and found the areas that need to be changed on the other classes exams and I am now feeling much better about being left in charge. I do very well if I have a game plan, but without a plan I get lost, and when I get lost my anxiety takes over. But as stated, I feel much better now and although I still wish she were staying, I can actually say I am a little excited to have my own class. It is crazy that last night I cried myself to sleep, actually crying a lot, and now I am going to sleep feeling renewed and brave. Thank you Asa for constantly telling me that I can accomplish so much more than I realize, I really needed you to say that over and over this time I guess. You truly are my rock. I know I can do all these things, I suppose I am still afraid sometimes to let myself believe that I have grown up that much and become so much my own person. I am no longer a little kid anymore. I am almost thirty and I am in Africa teaching kids. How many people can say that?

                But the exams are now written, I have gotten the blog written and I am up three hours past the point I enjoy going to bed. Bathing might just wait until tomorrow morning. I need some sleep.